Thursday, December 25, 2008

What T-mas Means to Me

Everyone knows T-mas as a strong-selling greeting card, but did you know it is also a semi-real holiday? It was invented by my sister Dana in 2004, and appreciates a dedicated following. Here are some tips and suggestions, from my family to yours, on how to have that perfect T-mas:

1) T-mas can be celebrated on any day of the year, but a few rules apply. No one can speak ill of one's mother, and if any mother is disrespected, T-mas must be cancelled and held on another date (remember, when you put down one mother, you're putting down mothers all over the world).

2) The construction of wooden 'fools' dates back to the Middle Ages, but that practice, of building a large fool in the town square and lighting it ablaze at twilight, can be brought into the home using craft or popsicle sticks and any variety of classroom art supplies.

3) Perhaps the most important activity of T-mas is the Pity List. Make a list of all the individuals from the past year whom you have reason to pity. Don't share your list with anyone. Instead, cast it into the fireplace, and if the ashes are carried up through the flume and caught by a north-blowing wind, then perhaps a certain someone will hear your wishes, and take it upon himself to pity those fools...

How is T-mas celebrated in your house? Perhaps next year we can add to these traditions, together.