Friday, May 22, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Die Walken
I'm not too surprised by this, because if you really think about, if you have college students pretend to be kids writing Christmas letters to Chris Walken, it's pretty much inevitable that someone is going to take the text of one of those letters and transform it into a smashing opera piece:
"An Acquaintance" by Ryan Walker, based on "An Acquaintance?" by Ming Doyle.
"An Acquaintance" by Ryan Walker, based on "An Acquaintance?" by Ming Doyle.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Fucillo! HUUUUGEST!
"Gawd, can't you do prints any bigger?" people bark as they spit on me in the street. Well, now you can order enormous prints (some three or nearly four feet long) at TopatoCo.com! Prints are unsigned and come on semi-glossy photo paper, or can be upgraded to textured fine art paper or super-premium canvas (they even varnish it!). They also have a couple new, exclusive T-shirt designs like the one above.
When you order through TopatoCo you're buying from a real company with fast shipping and an excellent record of customer service, and you can combine your order with any of the other hilarious products they offer from other web artists.
All my signed & limited stuff will of course continue to be available through brandonbird.com. But now you've got more options!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
From the hell inside Germany
My second hate mail in six years:
"hello, brandonbird,
I´m from germany, i have so much so problems, problems from where you´d never think, it is possible.
and............................i want to tell you only something...............you are a bastard. your picture is
a lie and you know it. but why you made shit like this? ron l. hubbard, was a man, who had a heart and mind you never reach it. i love him, until he is dead, i know, but its the same as with jesus...............his ideas, his thougts, his understanding, about human being, still lives on and on and on and with your fucking bullshit picture, with your lie about r. l.hubbard, i hope your go to hell, as soon as possible. with love and hope i send you greetings, from fucking germany, hamburg, the hell inside germany, bye bye, i hope, i never met you. silvia klein"
"hello, brandonbird,
I´m from germany, i have so much so problems, problems from where you´d never think, it is possible.
and............................i want to tell you only something...............you are a bastard. your picture is
a lie and you know it. but why you made shit like this? ron l. hubbard, was a man, who had a heart and mind you never reach it. i love him, until he is dead, i know, but its the same as with jesus...............his ideas, his thougts, his understanding, about human being, still lives on and on and on and with your fucking bullshit picture, with your lie about r. l.hubbard, i hope your go to hell, as soon as possible. with love and hope i send you greetings, from fucking germany, hamburg, the hell inside germany, bye bye, i hope, i never met you. silvia klein"
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A Party Ends in a Quadruple Homicide
Descriptions of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" episodes from the DirecTV guide:
Seduction of stepson.
Little girl is a victim.
A sadist tortures a senile old woman.
Girl's body is found on a bus.
Rape/murders launch a manhunt.
A woman falls to her death.
A killer has a foot fetish.
Young murder suspects.
A homeless man is a suspect.
Rapist attacks a patient.
Victim steps off a subway platform.
Subway commuter is mutilated.
A child is poisoned.
A woman commits suicide.
A pediatrician is murdered.
A cocktail waitress is murdered.
A Bronx DA lies strangled.
A psychiatrist is found murdered.
A man handles his own defense.
A killer spouts religious rhetoric.
Club-goers accused of murder.
Criminology leads to murder.
Sexual re-education poster boy is slain.
Expectant mother.
Boy is abducted.
Ball players are murdered.
Death of a bully.
Seduction of stepson.
Little girl is a victim.
A sadist tortures a senile old woman.
Girl's body is found on a bus.
Rape/murders launch a manhunt.
A woman falls to her death.
A killer has a foot fetish.
Young murder suspects.
A homeless man is a suspect.
Rapist attacks a patient.
Victim steps off a subway platform.
Subway commuter is mutilated.
A child is poisoned.
A woman commits suicide.
A pediatrician is murdered.
A cocktail waitress is murdered.
A Bronx DA lies strangled.
A psychiatrist is found murdered.
A man handles his own defense.
A killer spouts religious rhetoric.
Club-goers accused of murder.
Criminology leads to murder.
Sexual re-education poster boy is slain.
Expectant mother.
Boy is abducted.
Ball players are murdered.
Death of a bully.
Monday, March 23, 2009
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