Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A Party Ends in a Quadruple Homicide

Descriptions of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" episodes from the DirecTV guide:

Seduction of stepson.
Little girl is a victim.
A sadist tortures a senile old woman.
Girl's body is found on a bus.
Rape/murders launch a manhunt.
A woman falls to her death.
A killer has a foot fetish.
Young murder suspects.
A homeless man is a suspect.
Rapist attacks a patient.
Victim steps off a subway platform.
Subway commuter is mutilated.
A child is poisoned.
A woman commits suicide.
A pediatrician is murdered.
A cocktail waitress is murdered.
A Bronx DA lies strangled.
A psychiatrist is found murdered.
A man handles his own defense.
A killer spouts religious rhetoric.
Club-goers accused of murder.
Criminology leads to murder.
Sexual re-education poster boy is slain.
Expectant mother.
Boy is abducted.
Ball players are murdered.
Death of a bully.

9 comments:

D. Moe said...

It's like a beautiful free-form poem

Jeff said...

I thought it was

jmo said...

"Expectant Mother" sounds terrifying

jeff said...

Sexual re-education poster boy has a foot fetish.
Expectant mother commits rapes/murders.
A cocktail waitress spouts religious rhetoric.
Little girl tortures a senile old woman.
A homeless man handles his own defense.
A Bronx DA steps off a subway platform.
Ball players launch a manhunt.
Subway commuter is found on a bus.
A woman suspects.

norabombay said...

Ah SVU, the poetry of horror. May you continue making NYC the most dangerous rape filled place in the fictional world.

Elizabeth said...

I love that I know a bunch of these just by that description. I watched the "victim steps off a subway platform" one the other day, about the dad who makes his daughter get pregnant. Thats a pretty good one.
I love SVU so much even though I know how they all end.

jeffrey rowland said...

Brandon Bird you should do a painting of each of these concepts much like how Sufjan Stevens was going to make an album of all the states but for some reason didn't do that.

andyjames said...

They should put those on candy hearts to be handed out on Valentine's Day

Anonymous said...

Brandon,

You should submit this to McSweeney's:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/

Best,
Aubrey